The Three Pillows website is one dedicated to the MMF erotic interaction. It's definitely a one of a kind site for hard to find material. Pop over and visit them today.

This article deals with the Swinging environment and points out some obvious differences between that and Polyamory.

Swinging is something I don't think that I'm personally ready to try. I don't particularly care for watching my partner with someone else or having them watch me for that matter.

I know, that's a little strange all in itself. I don't have a good explanation for it, it's merely the way I feel.



When I started writing the FAQ on polyamory, I knew that I would also have to write one on Swinging, it’s a natural progression in some ways. As I was doing both this and the polyamory FAQ, I thought a lot of the similarities and differences between the tow and though there aren’t that may really, both are considered separate lifestyles. I also made me very aware of my current relationship and which parts of it are poly based and which are indicative of a swinging lifestyle. I will discuss that later in another article.  

I hadn’t originally planned on doing this as an FAQ but it sort of ended up that way as I just started writing down questions I would have if I were thinking of exploring the swinging lifestyle. Here are a list of questions and I know that there are many more out there as well and again they are in no particular order of importance but they are what I thought would be important ones to ask. 


  • What is swinging?

  • Why do people swing?

  • What kind of people swing?

  • What are the Pros and Cons of swinging?

  • How do I deal with jealousy?

  • How do I meet swingers?

  • What is the etiquette in meeting swingers?

What is swinging?

Swinging is a social and sexual exchange with persons or people who are not your mate or significant other. 

Another definition is, recreational social sex, mostly consisting of male/female couples meeting other male/female couples, in order to engage in sex and or other intimate relationships.  

Why do people swing? 

The reason’s people swing are as varied as the people who swing. Many couples get involved in swinging as a way to enliven their marriage or to share their out looks on sexual freedom. Many couples find swinging a natural evolution in their marriage and find the transition to a swinging lifestyle both natural and welcome. 

What ever the reason, couples involved in swinging are very sure of the strength and stability of their marriage. Being honest with your self and your partner, as to why you want to explore the swinging lifestyle will ease the worries you or your partner may have and you will also find it easier to open the discussion if you encounter any problems. 

What are the Pros and Cons of Swinging? 

There are a variety of good things associated with the swinging lifestyle. Many people find the thought of watching and sharing their partner with others or in front of others, highly arousing, as well as sexually freeing. To many it is a natural progression of a friendship in which the parties find each other mutually attractive. Swingers appreciate the open-mindedness and the positive attitudes towards sexual expression. 

The opportunity to also experience other sides of sexuality, male/female bisexuality, as an example, is another draw of the lifestyle. And of course one cannot forget the SEX! It as well is a very important part of the lifestyle. 

With the good there is also the bad. Swinging can help intensify feelings of insecurity or self esteem issues you have as well, especially if your first swinging experience doesn’t live up to your expectations. It can create feelings of jealousy in your partner, feelings that may surprise you. 

Then there is the issue that perhaps swinging is somewhat discriminatory to single men and to big people as well. In the case of BBW, this is somewhat true, more so in the advertising than in the attitudes, I encountered it during my research for this FAQ. As for the single men, I believe it is but it a necessary evil in order to keep the integrity of lifestyle. The other reason is as was stated earlier, that attitudes towards male bisexuality are not as open as they are towards women. Then of course there is the pure survival instinct that a lot of these clubs have and lets face it guys, not all of you out there are honest and you are not above using people for your own gain, including lying to get into an organization. Hey it happens and most swinging clubs are aware that it does and have safeguards set up in the event it does. So if you think you can get involved in swinging with a “hired” date or a “ticket”, forget it! This behaviour is unacceptable in any reputable swinging organization and will get you blacklisted. In all honesty if you try to do this you get what you deserve.

Page 2

Real Amateurs all the time!




Copyright © 1998 - 2002  Koi Media Ltd. All rights reserved.